Soliloquies of Power
by T-TrainOrTurkeyT
Summary: "There is no good or evil, only power and those to weak to seek it." Harry's thoughts on power. Soliloquy isn't the word I want but it works for the title. Contains darkish thoughts and will inevitably result in Harry joining Voldemort. Enjoy! DRABBLES
1. Chapter 1

**Soliloquies of Power**

*Ok – so soliloquy isn't the word I wanted exactly, but it made a nice title!

As per usual, I don't own anything but my name…

For those of you actually reading, this, I'd just like to mention that my other stories are currently on hiatus as this is the only one interesting to me right now. I'd also like to offer a challenge to anyone who wishes it: Write a multi-chap fic that could result in Harry reproducing these "soliloquies". Just let me know if you wish to do so – I'd enjoy reading anything to do with it. Everyone who attempts it will have similar plots likely, but very different stories so I think it would be fun to see what you guys can come up with.

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"There is no good or evil, only power and those too weak to seek it!" What does he mean by that? Surely good and evil must exist. Is it not wrong to push someone out a window or shove off the astronomy tower so that they might fall to their death? What about casting one of the unforgivables? What makes them so unforgivable? I've always been told that they are evil because of what they do. But is it evil if the cruciatus is used in self defense? If the killing curse is used to mercy-kill one who, if they were muggle, would be forced to have the plug pulled? Or if you're trying to save a reckless Gryffindor from running after his godfather, and succumbing to the power of the veil? If only someone had dared to cast Imperius over me, Sirius might still be alive… I don't know what to do anymore… Apparently, only those with "power" can throw off the Imperius curse but I doubt I'd of fought it if I had realized it might keep me – and Sirius – safe! It seems to me that the definition of good or evil comes from the purpose of one's spell – whether to hurt or to help… So perhaps after this debate, I must conclude that Voldemort is right – there really is no good or evil, only power and those too weak to seek it. To use on of the unforgivables requires power and will – Dumbledore could have prevented that night from happening if only he'd had the power to actually use an unforgivable – because if Sirius hadn't fallen behind the veil, if I hadn't been at the ministry in the first place, I might have forgiven Dumbledore… but no more! Because of him I have lost Sirius and I shall never forgive him! Voldemort has apparently marked me as his equal, therefore I have power… But will I continue to be too weak to seek it? Only time will tell, I must reflect on this more…


	2. Chapter 2

**Soliloquies of Power**

Curse Dumbledore! "I am safe at the house sharing my mother's blood?" Yeah, right! Get a clue Dumbledore – Voldemort shares my blood and thus my mother's! Voldemort can reach me here at the Dursley's. I wonder how much longer till he comes for me, for it seems inevitable that he shall… Maybe I'll see when the time comes; after all, we share a mind-connection through the scar he gave me. Voldemort has my blood and he has access to my mind – he can reach me anywhere, including here at my "family's" house. I hate it here – it is because of him that my parents are dead and because of Dumbledore that I must remain where I am hated. The wards are meaningless and Dumbledore doesn't seem to even notice that I'm in danger – perhaps, if he does know, then he must be hoping that I'll die – he doesn't care, even though he says he does. No one cares – I should just get Voldemort to come finish me off. I doubt anyone would miss me – Dumbledore must want me to die as the prophecy says: "neither can live while the other survives." What a load of bollocks! Not that it matters. It is a burden I must bare alone. My so-called friends haven't written to me yet this summer. But alas, my "uncle' calls – I must go or I'll regret it… I'll regret it either way…


	3. Chapter 3

**Soliloquies of Power**

I did regret it – I knew I would! I'm sick and tired of being Dudley's punching bag, of my uncle forcing me to do chores that not even a house elf would do, of my aunt starving me for not completing the chores, and of my uncle beating me just for being in existence. If only I had magic to use over summer – I'd show them! I could be safe if I wasn't forbidden to use magic. This inability to defend myself makes my blood boil… Oh no! My uncle's coming!


	4. Chapter 4

**Soliloquies of Power**

Everything hurts – I am once again trapped in my room. It takes all my energy to write this… He's coming – I fear this may be my last…

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*I thought about only posting as far as this for the mean time but decided I wasn't going to be that cruel. Keep reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Soliloquies of Power**

While I don't know where I am, I suspect. What I want to know is why I am here… And why I'm still alive. I feel so weak and I hate it. I don't want to be weak. Being weak has allowed my "friend", "family", and the Order to walk all over me. I can no longer allow it. Sirius is no longer here and Remus is the only other one that still gives me a tie to the light. They have treated me like a mushroom all my life – never mind – a mushroom at least gets food even when it's kept in the dark. Since they insist on keeping me in the dark, I must accept the dark for with out the darkness, I may never see light again…


	6. Chapter 6

**Soliloquies of Power**

It doesn't hurt anymore – not physically anyway. I still have plenty of inner turmoil. I have seen Voldemort only once since my arrival. What I want to know is why he brought my things for me when he captured me. He says he no longer wishes me harm but can that be? After all, how can one's enemy suddenly decide against killing you? He says he even has my wand and that when he trusts me or when I've healed, which ever comes first, then he shall return it to me. Will he really? He hasn't killed me yet… But that just leaves me to question and ponder when he will. In the mean time, however, being confined to this bed has made me lonely. I enjoy the solitude to some extent though – I haven't had to deal with any death eaters yet. Apparently, Hedwig is residing somewhere around this place. I hope Nagini hasn't eaten her or that no one has tried to poison, kill, or otherwise harm her. She is my only friend now. When I get out of here, if I ever get to leave this room, I will begin training to conquer my weakness – someone comes…


	7. Chapter 7

**Soliloquies of Power**

Voldemort visited again today. He says I am recovering more quickly than should be possible – I was near death when he came to me in Privet Dr. It was the two things he said though, out of everything, that surprised me most. First, he reminded me that we are a lot alike. Secondly, he reminded me of what he told me in first year – "There is no good or evil, only power and those too weak to seek it." Again he said that he wished for me to join him. I vehemently refused though I sincerely doubt that he will give up in his endeavours to recruit me. The insignia "I must not tell lies" has forever been etched into my skin. There is no cure for the damage done by a blood quill. It makes me question everything again. Dumbledore said that Tom and I are nothing alike, that it is our actions that define who we are. But if that were true, then I would be as innocent as he gives me credit for. I believe it is our thoughts that define us, for our actions cannot be committed without having been thought of first. Voldemort is right – we are similar in a way, perhaps more than I'm currently willing to admit. We both are of the same mind now – that magic is magic – it is not good or evil. Like the muggles say, guns don't kill, people kill. I wonder why Voldemort reminded me of his power speech – it must be a product of the mind connection. He has access to my mind so he must have realized how much I've been thinking about it recently. My thought run rampant and I have nothing to do but sort through the muddle… and sleep I s'pose. I have concluded that Dumbledore is a liar – what else has he lied to me about? But Voldemort, he has never lied to me. He has always told me the truth – I realize now that the "vision" of him having Sirius was just one of my nightmares, one of my worst fears coming to pass while I was sleeping. Hmmm… I wonder what else Voldemort has to tell me – what else is he right about…?

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*So this is as far as I've gotten. Hope you guys enjoy what I've done so far. So again, just a reminder that unfortunately, until I get the heart to go back to my other stories, this is the one I will be working on. See y'all next chapter!


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Voldemort has declared me perfectly healthy again. He says I may leave my room tomorrow should I wish to. He wishes me to stay put for one more day so he may be sure that his followers will not harm me should they see me about. I doubt they will listen though part of me says they will for fear that their master will punish them. And he should. While I do not yet agree with how Voldemort punishes, I do agree that disobedience should be punished. But anyway, I've been thinking some more about how I am like Tom. We both speak parsletongue. We are both pale, skinny, and have short black hair (or he used to anyway). Both of us are powerful, and both of us are incredibly intelligent. It doesn't appear that way though. If I had applied myself, it would have been known how smart I am and that would have brought on more undesired attention. Hmmm… I'm getting bored again, perhaps I'll go read something…


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

What a day. I finally got out of this prison. I am still at Voldemort's home but at least I got to get out for a while – of the room I mean. I was nervous at first – and who wouldn't be? I've been hunted by these people for a long time now. I met Bellatrix in halls today. I thought I'd die but she hardly paid me any heed. We crossed paths again in the kitchen. I was looking for food while she was looking for something else – liquor perhaps? She was very sullen, when she finally caught sight of me. I quickly prepared for the worse but all she did was tell me she's sorry and hurried out of the room. How strange! I'm not so sure what to make of that. She's probably just upset that she's forbidden to torture me. As if she could! While she is powerful, she isn't strong enough to cause me serious harm. I wonder why she apologized though…


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

I met Bellatrix again today. She was with her sister, Narcissa Malfoy. They aren't as bad as I thought. They're both rather mmotherwise, though Bellatrix is more like a crazy aunt. Hmm – must be Malfoy's… er… Draco's – doing. It turns out that neither of them actually hate me – they were just trying to get me to see that good/evil doesn't exist. And while he had hated, Bellatrix actually liked Sirius and was remorseful. She hadn't wanted him to die. Knowing this gives me peace and I find myself forgiving her.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

There is no light or dark magic, only good or bad intentions. Why bring this up again? Because I've met the entire inner circle now, everyone except Snape – thank Merlin! Draco is actually pretty cool to be around. I wish I'd have accepted him back in first year. Anyway, Voldemort and his followers are seeking power and they care not how they get it. Voldemort has spent time with me every day since he allowed me out of my room. He has repeatedly told me that knowledge is power. Knowledge is also truth, provided the knowledge is accurate. If we reword Voldemort's favourite slogan we get: There is no good or evil, only truth. You cannot have good/evil without truth – without knowing the correct circumstances. Realizing this now makes me wonder how I ever could have believed differently…


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

It's decided. I have now officially allied myself with Voldemort. However, I do not bare the dark mark – I have a different mark. I received my mark when I was a baby. Who would suspect the Boy-Who-Lived to have a scar turned into a dark mark after all? For that matter, I could have taken his usual mark and told the world it was just a tattoo likeness to remind me what we're fighting against. The world would've believed it too. Oh well. Voldemort has already assigned me a mission. My mission is to become more powerful while convincing as many others as possible to join us. Voldemort has returned my wand and he will be releasing me tomorrow. Our alibis are all worked out. I am going back to school in three weeks time and it's there that step one will commence – get better grades. Having worked out my inner issues, I no longer need to write.

INCENDIO!

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OK, so now it's finished. I hope all of you who have read this far have enjoyed it. You can look forward to a sequel - eventually... I don't know when It'll be up, if ever, but I am writing one and I'll post it eventually. Till then, thanks for reading!


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